We often think that protecting ourselves means becoming more guarded. But remaining constantly defensive requires serious emotional and physical energy.

It is like a country maintaining an army. Even when there is no war, keeping the army on continuous high alert consumes enormous resources. An army is necessary, just as personal boundaries and self-protection are necessary. But permanent readiness for conflict is expensive.

We do not need an obvious threat to become defensive. When we have limited social interaction—particularly limited positive interaction—our minds receive little evidence that other people are safe and friendly. We may begin observing others cautiously, interpreting uncertainty as danger and preparing ourselves for rejection or rudeness.

Social media can contribute to this. We may spend considerable time looking at people without meaningfully interacting with them. We scroll through their ideas, activities and achievements but remain socially invisible. We are exposed to people without experiencing the small exchanges that create human warmth.

Opening up does not need to mean sharing private information or forming close relationships. It can begin with very small, sincere gestures:

• Adding a smile to a gaze
• Offering a greeting
• Click “Like” for something that genuinely appeals to us
• Writing a brief, truthful positive comment
• Congratulating someone on a real achievement
• Acknowledging an idea that made us think

These gestures may benefit the receiver, but that is not their only purpose. They can also support our own wellbeing.

Each peaceful interaction tells our mind:

“I can enter the social world positively. I am friendly towards others. Not everyone around me is an enemy.”

Our gesture may also reduce uncertainty in other people. They are less likely to interpret us as distant, suspicious or unfriendly, and they may respond with greater warmth. In this way, small positive expressions can reduce unnecessary “perceptions” and increase the number of peaceful encounters around us.

This does not mean that friendliness guarantees friendliness in return. Our kindness should not become a bargain: “I was kind, so you must treat me kindly.” Some people may remain indifferent or rude. But after approaching them with goodwill, we can more easily recognise that their response belongs to them and does not define our worth.

This process may also affect the body. Many people struggle with persistently tight muscles and seek relief through massage, stretching, exercise, medication or relaxation practices. These approaches can be valuable. However, sometimes we try to relax the muscles while leaving the mind on guard.

When the mind perceives threat, the body prepares to protect us. The jaw tightens, the shoulders rise and the muscles become ready for action. If we remain socially guarded, the body may also struggle to release its defensive posture.

Small positive interactions cannot treat every form of muscle tension or pain. Persistent symptoms may have physical or medical causes. Nevertheless, friendly exchanges may help create a greater sense of social safety. As the mind gathers evidence that the surrounding world is not entirely threatening, the body may also find it easier to soften.

The aim is not to remove our shield. We still need judgement, boundaries and appropriate protection. The aim is to stop carrying the shield as though an attack is always about to begin. Our shield can remain available without becoming our permanent posture. That may be one of its greatest powers.