Have you ever noticed how one small moment can change your entire day? A stranger smiles at you, and somehow you feel lighter for the next few hours. Then, on another day, someone ignores you or speaks harshly, and that single moment keeps replaying in your mind long after it has happened. The interesting thing is that we don’t get to choose most of what life brings us.

We cannot choose every person we meet. We cannot choose every conversation we have. We cannot choose every disappointment, criticism, or misunderstanding. Life simply presents them to us. But although we cannot always control what we experience, we can often control what we do with those experiences. Over the years, I have found it helpful to think about this using two simple attitudes: the Mirror and the Window.

The Mirror Attitude

The mirror attitude is simple.

When something good comes into your life, allow it to stay.

Reflect it back.

If someone smiles at you, smile back.

If someone shows kindness, return kindness.

If someone encourages you, appreciate it and perhaps encourage someone else.

Good experiences do not have to stop with the person who gave them to us. We can reflect them and allow them to continue through us.

In this way, we don’t simply receive goodness—we multiply it.

The Window Attitude

Not everything deserves a place in our minds.

Sometimes we meet people who are impatient, dismissive, or simply having a bad day.

Imagine meeting someone you know on the street. You smile, but they barely acknowledge you.

Our first reaction might be to do the same the next time we meet them.

But that means we have carried their behaviour with us.

Instead, we can choose the window attitude.

We notice what happened.

We understand it.

We learn from it if necessary.

Then we let it pass.

We don’t need to store every unpleasant experience inside ourselves.

Some things are better allowed to leave quietly.

Knowing Which One to Use

The goal is not to become only a mirror or only a window. Both have their place. The real skill is recognising what deserves to stay and what deserves to go. Kindness, respect, encouragement and gratitude often deserve to be reflected. Bitterness, unnecessary criticism, and rude behaviour often deserve to pass straight through without becoming part of us. This is a choice we can make many times every day. And like any habit, it becomes easier with practice.

Your Body Already Knows How to Do This

Our bodies offer a useful lesson. Every day we eat different foods. Some nourish us. Others become waste. We cannot completely control everything that enters our body, but we are equipped with remarkable systems that filter what is useful and remove what is not. Our kidneys, liver, digestive system, and other organs work continuously to protect our health.

Imagine if they tried to keep everything. We wouldn’t stay healthy for very long. Perhaps our minds need a similar filter.

Life will always expose us to kindness and disappointment, encouragement and criticism, joy and frustration. We may not control what arrives. But we can decide what deserves to remain.

Maybe a healthier life isn’t about avoiding difficult experiences.Maybe it’s about learning when to be a mirror… and when to be a window.

A Question for Today

Before you finish today, think about the people and moments you experienced.

Which ones deserve to be reflected?

And which ones would be healthier to let pass through the window?